Yesterday I Cried...

Yesterday I Cried

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I came home, went straight to my room, 
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, 
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over 
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of 
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy, 
or too tired, 
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, 
disrespected, and 
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me 
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given, 
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that 
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, 
only to give them away, 
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty, 
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does 
come a time when the only thing left 
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get 
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy, 
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy 
who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there 
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. 
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that 
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, 
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late. 
I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday, 
and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,  I felt my freedom coming,  Because Yesterday,  I cried with an agenda.  Iyanla Vanzant

One of my favorite poems of all time.