I recently had a discussion with a good friend of mine (Hey Ito!). After much thinking and observation, I have come to the conclusion that I as a woman have misunderstood men for a long time. Here is a list of things that I think men really could care less about, but women idolize (myself being guilty as well). Let me know what you think, especially you men......
- Makeup - "Men aren't really concerned about makeup." As a former makeup artist for M.A.C., it's obvious that I love makeup. After the glamour of working for M.A.C. wore off, I began to despise doing makeup. As I transformed women from reality to fantasy, they would look in the mirror and say things like "Look how pretty I am.", as if they were ugly before. It soon began to take its toll on me. Since I had to be glammed out everyday I worked, on my days off I would look at my face without makeup and feel beyond ugly. I left M.A.C. when I went away to college and went through a stage of not wearing any makeup. During that time I realized that men could care less about my Amber Lights eyeshadow or Oh Baby lipglass. Men are interested in seeing natural beauty and actually the less makeup you wear, the better. It has been five years sinced I worked as a makeup artist and I am currently rediscovering my passion for makeup. It is much different this time though, because I know that the makeup is there for fun. It doesn't define my beauty and it definitely won't assist a woman in meeting an amazing man who isn't superficial.
- Weight - "Your weight isn't that BIG of a deal." When I was in high school I weighed 164 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers and the weight began to fall off. There was a guy I liked, but I didn't want him to know about my crush, until I reached my goal of 121 pounds. I convinced myself that it was okay for him not to have an interest in me, until my body met society's standard of beauty. That's scary, but the reality is at times I, along with a lot of women, still struggle with this. If only I could have a body like Nicki Minaj, then he would want me, and wouldn't play any games. Foolish! The truth of the matter is, I have been attracted to all kinds of guys. Black, white, tall, short, skinny, and yes...fat. At the end of the day what matters most is personality, morales, and love. Men aren't necessarily concerned with your weight as opposed to their image. Some of them can love on a big, curvy girl in private, but in public have their skinny supermodel. Big ups to the men who acknowledge the humanity of women and love it.
- Hair - "Men could care less about your hair, just make sure it looks nice." These are the words of advice that my male stylist gave to me when I told him that I wanted to go natural: "Don't go ugly before you get a husband." Thank God I didn't listen to him, because I absolutely love my natural hair. However, his comment did spark a plethora of conversations and questions about men and their thoughts towards natural hair. Reality is some men prefer natural hair, some men prefer relaxed hair, and some men don't care. I would hate to think that a man would let a woman's hair prevent him from getting to know her.
We as women are too hard on ourselves. Why don't we extend ourselves the same grace that we give to men? It's okay for him to be overweight, but we feel obligated to be perfect. Why? My male cousin says that I sound like I'm going to burn a bra. I'm not going to do that, but I am going to make a vow to be real with myself. I want a man who wants a woman who is more beautiful on the inside, then the outside. It's encouraging when I meet men who are not concerned with superficial things, and this may sound crazy, but I believe most men aren't. At the end of the day they want to know if you have a mind of your own. You can do your makeup, but can you think? What are your goals in life? Will you make an amazing wife and mother?
So, in the book of Nikki, men aren't too concerned with makeup, weight, and hair, and if they are we're doomed...lol.
I leave you with a scripture that encourages me:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last: but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised." -Proverbs 31:30